My Pandemic Birthday Was the Best Birthday of All Time
Even if Kanye disagrees, leaving 27 behind has been the most accomplishing thing that’s ever happened to me, and the first time I mentally begged for a birthday.
I’m the type of person who wakes up on the morning of my birthdays, and is ecstatic that, “Today is the day!” I usually sit back and think about how unique the year was, or what achievements I reached, fun trips, etc. I enjoy becoming older and wiser, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say there has always been a smidge of bittersweetness in leaving an age that I enjoyed.
This year I couldn’t concentrate long enough to actually even think about where I’d like to be, or what I want to do in celebration. I felt so pressured to have an extravagant birthday (during the playoffs of the 2020 pandemic nonetheless,) that I froze up. Everything felt off and unclear, so at the last minute I committed to the most reasonable solution, I went home to my mom.
I woke up Tuesday morning and realized that for the first time, I was relieved to be a new age. I did what I could with year 27, it was filled with lessons, tolerance, and self-exploration (ugh, I didn’t ask for ALL of that,) but boy, I am ready for 28.
Reflecting all the way back to my 27th birthday, I brought the year in with the people I loved, at my favorite hole-in-the-wall dance spot. I remember feeling so free and ready for a year to do EVERYTHING. It’s ironic that the year turned out to be the opposite, however, I feel there was a reason for that.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I went through micro-managing myself to fulfill 1029984628 different goals that I had set for myself. It failed to say the least. Then I sat with myself feeling like a failure, confused why I couldn’t actually accomplish all these things during a pandemic. That became a lesson that I didn’t recognize until later.
Being able to multitask is a skill. Not many people excel at it, and that’s okay. An important lesson is to focus on a task, master it, and then move on to the next. If it’s a project with anticipated longevity, the same applies. Focus and stabilize, then add the next.
An equally important lesson I learned is balancing risk assessment. I have tendencies to overthink falsely created mishaps. I say falsely created because they're all in my head. I am a committed, “What IF-er,” at times when it should be JUST DO IT. Starting a blog was my greatest WHAT IF for years. Now look at me, it wasn’t even an eighth of the drama I created in my head.
The same also applies to people. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can only be responsible for myself. With that in mind, I am at peace with what my standards are, at what I need to consider a relationship fulfilling (whether friendly or intimate, the same applies), and understanding that I can only do the best that I can do, if that doesn’t work for someone then that is out of my hands.
With all this new and tested out knowledge, I am looking forward to being a balanced, well-rounded 28-year old, and hoping that by this time next, I’ll be closing a successful year. The challenge of self-growth is a neverending work, it’s important to celebrate the baby steps as much as the milestones, and don’t you forget it. Happy holidays, and cheers to love and prosperity!