Even if Kanye disagrees, leaving 27 behind has been the most accomplishing thing that’s ever happened to me, and the first time I mentally begged for a birthday.
I’m the type of person who wakes up on the morning of my birthdays, and is ecstatic that, “Today is the day!” I usually sit back and think about how unique the year was, or what achievements I reached, fun trips, etc. I enjoy becoming older and wiser, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say there has always been a smidge of bittersweetness in leaving an age that I enjoyed.
This year I couldn’t concentrate long enough to actually even think about where I’d like to be, or what I want to do in celebration. I felt so pressured to have an extravagant birthday (during the playoffs of the 2020 pandemic nonetheless,) that I froze up. Everything felt off and unclear, so at the last minute I committed to the most reasonable solution, I went home to my mom.
I woke up Tuesday morning and realized that for the first time, I was relieved to be a new age. I did what I could with year 27, it was filled with lessons, tolerance, and self-exploration (ugh, I didn’t ask for ALL of that,) but boy, I am ready for 28.
Reflecting all the way back to my 27th birthday, I brought the year in with the people I loved, at my favorite hole-in-the-wall dance spot. I remember feeling so free and ready for a year to do EVERYTHING. It’s ironic that the year turned out to be the opposite, however, I feel there was a reason for that.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I went through micro-managing myself to fulfill 1029984628 different goals that I had set for myself. It failed to say the least. Then I sat with myself feeling like a failure, confused why I couldn’t actually accomplish all these things during a pandemic. That became a lesson that I didn’t recognize until later.
Being able to multitask is a skill. Not many people excel at it, and that’s okay. An important lesson is to focus on a task, master it, and then move on to the next. If it’s a project with anticipated longevity, the same applies. Focus and stabilize, then add the next.
An equally important lesson I learned is balancing risk assessment. I have tendencies to overthink falsely created mishaps. I say falsely created because they're all in my head. I am a committed, “What IF-er,” at times when it should be JUST DO IT. Starting a blog was my greatest WHAT IF for years. Now look at me, it wasn’t even an eighth of the drama I created in my head.
The same also applies to people. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can only be responsible for myself. With that in mind, I am at peace with what my standards are, at what I need to consider a relationship fulfilling (whether friendly or intimate, the same applies), and understanding that I can only do the best that I can do, if that doesn’t work for someone then that is out of my hands.
With all this new and tested out knowledge, I am looking forward to being a balanced, well-rounded 28-year old, and hoping that by this time next, I’ll be closing a successful year. The challenge of self-growth is a neverending work, it’s important to celebrate the baby steps as much as the milestones, and don’t you forget it. Happy holidays, and cheers to love and prosperity!
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